Difficult Good-byes

Ten weeks….

Ten weeks.  That is it.  That is the number of weeks I have left in Seattle until I start my next adventure.  I am overwhelmed with so many emotions right now: excitement, fear, joy, and uncertainty.  I can’t even fully describe how I am feeling.  Is there a word for every emotion in the world? Because that is what I feel whenever I stop and think about what lies just ten weeks down the road for me. 

Ten weeks is just long enough for nothing to be completely tangible, however, just short enough for me to feel like I don’t have enough time.  There are so many things I want to do.  There are so many people I want to see; so many memories that I want to form, but haven’t been formed yet. 

It appears this past week was the week of engagements for a handful of my friends.  If they aren’t already engaged, it seems most of my friends are surely on their way to take that next step.  While I am incredibly excited for them and the new adventure that lies in front of them, I can’t help but feel a little sad that I, more then likely, will miss out on more then a few of my friend’s weddings. 

It’s not, however, just the weddings I am sad I will be missing.  It is everything.  It is the day-to-day life of so many incredible people I will be missing out on.  It is the tears and heartbreaks; along with the smiles and joys I will miss.  It’s that fact that everyone is going to continue living and growing and learning, and I won’t be able to walk alongside of them as I have here. 

I realize 27 months really isn’t that long, and I know I will continue to watch my friends live.  It will just be from a much greater distance. 

And while 27 months it isn’t that long, it is excruciatingly long all at the same time.  So much can, and will happen.  I will be a different person; it’s impossible to escape that.  All of my friends and family will also be different people.  It’s part of life.  It’s part of growing up.  Today, I just wish I could take all of my amazing friends and family with me.

The Peace Corps is something I have to do.  I can’t explain it to you, but it makes me tick.  This is my way of moving forward.  Some people find an awesome job, meet an amazing person, or pursue their dreams and aspirations.  For me, I would regret not going.

And so I move forward.  I step out, having absolutely no clue as to what I am getting myself into, but thankful for the people in my life that do make it hard to want to leave.  If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

For that, I owe you a million thanks, a million times over.  Thank you for pushing me to follow my heart and my dreams.  And thank you for making it so hard to leave.  That shows me that I have some AMAZING friends.

So here is to the next ten weeks.  And here’s to a lifetime of adventure and difficult good-byes.  .  Let’s make the most of every second we have….