I've had Sadie, my 1996 Subaru Legacy Outback, for three years now. The majority of the time we get along great. I feed her gas when she requires it, and in return she gets me from point A to point B. Only a handful of times have we really ever disagreed with each other.
About a week ago, I was a little worried we might have one of our famous fights. She had to get an emissions test done, and she had recently been acting up. I wasn't sure she was going to pass the test. On the big day, I took her for a fifteen minute joy drive on I-5, to make sure she was in a good mood for the test. While I was biting my nails in anticipation as to whether or not she was going to pass, she calmly did everything she was asked to do, and passed with flying colors. I couldn't have been more thrilled. This meant another year of our beautiful relationship. All was right with the world.
Last night I went to a friends house for dinner. Thinking our usual agreement was in order, I hopped in Sadie and drove to my friends house. About a block from the house, my radio cut out. Then the dashboard lights dimmed, and the RPM gauge started bouncing around. I was a little confused as to what was going on. After finding a parking spot, I turned off the car, and then restarted it to see if the problem still existed. Everything seemed to be working fine, so I turned off the engine and went into my friends house, thinking nothing of the incident.
Fast forward two hours.... I drop my friend off at a meeting, and drive on towards my house. About fifteen blocks from home, Sadie tries to tell me something. The radio shorted out and the lights dimmed again. I stopped at a light and tried to determine what was wrong, when suddenly Sadie just powered down. Yep, that's right, she just decided to quit right then and there. I was so hurt. What had I done wrong?? I gave her gas like she asked me. We had an agreement.
Well, as you can guess, the light turned green. I frantically tried to restart the car. Nothing. Quickly, I tried again. Yep, still nothing. Meanwhile, the cars behind me are honking like crazy because the light was green and I wasn't moving. I tried to put my hazards on. All electricity in the car was out. No hazards. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.
Not knowing what to do, I call the first person I can think of that knows remotely anything about cars and will come to my rescue. I was told to call Roadside Assistance. I quickly dial the number and get put on hold. Really people?? I am literally stranded in the middle of the left lane, my car won't start, and you put me on hold. Oh, and to top things off, the person I finally talk to isn't even in the United States of America. Way to outsource Progressive.
At this point it's been ten minutes. Still no word on Roadside Assistance. Thankfully my reliable friend is on his way. Until then... I guess I just wait; wait in the left hand lane of a busy Seattle street while cars pile up behind me, honking because I'm not moving, and the light is green. To make matters worse, here comes a cop car with her lights on. Great. She pulls up. I tell her my car, my beautiful Sadie, just died on me, and there is nothing I can do. So she pulls around and turns on her lights. As if I wasn't causing a big enough scene.
Realizing Roadside Assistance was not going to do me any good, I take matters into my own hands. Perhaps the cop car will give me a jump. Nope, can't jump cars because it messes with the police computer systems. Hmmm... who else is around. Oh, I know. Pizza Hut.
So I run across the street, and beg the employees to jump my car (actually, the guy couldn't have been more thrilled to give me a jump: he was very enthusiastic). My knight in shining armor. Connect the positive and negative cables to both batteries, and bam, my car starts. Remove the cables from both the batteries, and bam, the car dies. Oh great. Ok, try again, and this time give it sometime to charge.
At this point my wonderful and amazing friend shows up. The guys talk about car ish, convinced they know what is wrong with my poor, poor Sadie, and telling me exactly what I need to do to replace my alternator (um, excuse me, alterwhat?). After a few minutes, we try again. Yes, Sadie is still powered up.
Quickly, I take off, leaving my Pizza Hut friend, cop friend, and actual friend in the dust; not knowing if Sadie would make it home. Apparently our original agreement was out the window, so I couldn't be so sure she would get me to point B. Sure enough, I get five blocks away, and Sadie dies, for the third time that night. I am helpless once again (thankfully I was in the right hand lane this time, not blocking traffic).
Actual friend is close behind, so we jump her again, and I cruise home. I park Sadie on a hill, devastated by what this entire incident meant for our relationship. I was not sure it would ever be the same again between Sadie and I (cue music from Charlie Brown when he is sad).
Actual friend decides I need to learn how to start my car by popping the clutch as I roll down the hill. Step one: turn key like you are going to listen to music. Step two: Take off the e-brake. Step three: keep the clutch in while allowing yourself to roll down the hill. Step four: once gaining a bit of speed, let out the clutch, and voila, your car turns on. Um hello amazingness. Let me say this was just about the coolest thing I have ever done. Try it sometime.
The next morning, slightly disappointed my car starts right way (only because I didn't get to use my fancy new trick), I drive the twenty blocks to the auto parts store. Guy at the store tells me my battery is pretty weak. Cool, I can handle this. I'll just buy a new battery and put it in my car.... no problem.
One soaked backside, two greasy hands, and forty-five minutes later, Sadie is happy again. All is right with the world.... and Sadie and I have reached a new agreement. She'll get me from point A to point B, if I feed her gas, AND make sure she has a fully functional battery. I can only hope she holds up her end of the bargain....
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